Followup

Coming back from the disaster area in Sendai was a little jarring. First of all, leaving base camp was an affair - we said goodbye to all our new friends, which was sad and also odd. We had just met them less than four days earlier, but we were so sad to part! We hugged, posed for photos, and exchanged contact info. On our last day, a new team (from Singapore) arrived just in time for praise & worship. Right afterwards we left, and it felt like we were tag teaming... At base camp the teams come and go, and I was filled with a sense of insignificance XD This whole experience has made me feel like an ant in God's kingdom, but an army of ants can carry a lot.

After getting back to Tokyo, I had four days left before I went back to the States. I felt a bit overwhelmed - wrapping up some documentation in the office regarding the trip to Sendai and saying goodbye to all the new friends in the house I stayed in. I only lived there for a week and a half, but a week and a half of late nights sharing and talking had created tight bonds. Some last minute bonding - we went to a baseball game (Seibu Lions), had yakiniku (Japanese bbq), and went karaoking with some coworkers. I felt so blessed - I never could have imagined that in venturing to Japan for these two weeks I would meet so many wonderful new friends who would make me feel so surrounded by family. I was sad to leave them but I feel like I will see them again.

Two major takeaways that I didn't "take away" until a week afterwards:

1) God is enough. I really struggled with how a loving God could "stand by" while people suffer and lose their entire life's possessions. Of course God mourns with us when we mourn, and loss is loss... but ultimately our God is more than enough for what we need. When our possessions are stripped away, we realize how fully God provides for our needs and perhaps we are less likely to idolize these material possessions. This is a chance to develop rock solid faith. I think about the photo of the Seaside Chapel's cross standing tall while everything around it has crumbled. (Day 7, bottom-most photo). It is emblematic of how amid the disaster and hurt, the hope found in Jesus Christ stands tall.

2) Let go and let God. (Shocker XD If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that expression... lol) Honestly, I spent a good amount of time at CRASH in self-doubt, wondering if I was helping things or harming things. One of my biggest struggles is feeling inadequate for being used by God. How could God use someone as flawed as me to do good things? However - this is a fallacy that threatens to keep me paralyzed and inactive. Do I really believe that God is not an almighty God who can work even through my mistakes? Is the sum of my individual decisions larger than the God of the universe? This is not to say that I should sprint forward without regard to my surroundings or those who surround me. However I realized that in worrying and stressing out about the consequences of my own actions I was failing to place my trust in God. God gave us free will so we could make our own choices. I will make my own choices and trust that He is ultimately the one who decides.