Japan Missions - Day 10 (Mr. Oouchi's house)

Following the previous day's intensity, today seems like a breeze. Today we are at Mr. Oouchi's home helping clean up. Things are messy, but there are no dead fish or maggots like yesterday. I spent the day before wondering if we were really accomplishing anything and if my coming here was a really a good use of resources.

And then we're able to sit down and talk to Mr. Oouchi, and my perspective shifts. Mr. Oouchi is a part-time fireman. When the tsunami came, he drove around in his truck shouting and warning others. He stood on the top of his truck shouting. The wave hit, and he rode his truck on the wave to his house. He rescued his dog, a chiba inu, on his way to the roof of his house. It was four days before he was able to get in touch with his wife. His fields are clogged with salt from the ocean and can't grow things for another year until the salt washes away, and his family members are now depressed. And yet here he is, sitting with us and answering our questions candidly. I ask for permission to take a photo of his calendar, which has stopped on March 11th. "Sure! Go ahead, that is certainly when time stopped, isn't it." He is so friendly and chipper, the kind of Japanese person who helped me so many times during my year in Japan. He politely tries our American snack, even though he doesn't particularly enjoy it lol.

At the end, he takes a group photo with us, and he has us sign our names in a guestbook of sorts that he is keeping. He thanks us for coming, and says that it means a lot that we have come from so far to help. It is the same thing that a local utility worker told my team leader after the fish house cleanup: "You came in spite of everything." At a time when many Japanese feel forgotten, and foreigners have fled the country amid radiation fears, the presence of foreigners come from far away to help is a great sign of encouragement. The fact that we have come shows that they have not been forgotten.

Our work is an offering to God - we should rejoice in the privilege of serving God and be thankful. Our God is a God of details and infinite wisdom - our vision is limited, and we don't know how what we do affects others. For certain, I know I have been changed and humbled so much by this experience. I am learning to shake this hero mentality, a messianic complex ... none of us can save the world. Only Jesus can =)

Japan Missions - Day 9 (Fish House)

Every morning we do devotionals. A girl from the California team shares about how she was tempted to measure her productivity and become frustrated when the numbers are low, but we won't earn our way to heaven. It is so important to simply have peace and delight in His presence.

I reflect that being here, volunteering with a Christian organization, is living solidly in a Christian bubble. It is so easy to dwell on God's goodness all the time, because everyone else around me is Christian. I think about how being in the workplace is the opposite, and hiding faith is the norm. It's hard to maintain faith when you're constantly hiding it from view. It's easy to forget it's there when it's out of sight.

As I'm dwelling on how easy I have it here, our team goes to help clean out a house in Ishinomaki that hasn't been touched in the three months since the disaster. When we get out of the car, the stench is overwhelming. There are flies everywhere. We put on masks and goggles, but it is still nauseating. We go inside the house where it is humid and stuffy, and it looks like there was a landslide inside the house. There are dead fish everywhere - on the roof, on the shelf, and the owner's personal belongings. Fortunately, the owner made it out safely, but is not coming back. We've been called in to help clear away the stench because the next door neighbors are staying.

The bright spot of the day is breaking bread with the other church, a group from Korea. I have a very confusing conversation with one of the elder members, who only sort of speaks English lol I only know a few Korean nouns that mostly didn't come up in our conversation haha. No worries, showing God's love is the best form of communication! They serve us their homemade noodles. We offer them our convenience store bought bentos. We got a better trade. It’s such a blessing to see God’s children serving each other. I feel a little bad to have them serving us their food, but they are so generous and are genuinely hosting us out of their kindness of their hearts. We all just met today, but we are all on the same team.



By the evening I've had a little more time to process the day's events, and I realize that I am solidly bummed out. I volunteer to share a prayer request, and before I know it my voice is breaking and I am all out crying in front of everyone. What a loser. XD But hey, God made me this way. I can't even watch other people cry without tearing up. I am overwhelmed by seeing the destruction, the slow pace at which recovery takes place (it takes 20 of us swarming all over one house for a full day to help the situation, but how many houses like there are there across Japan?) I am emotionally drained by picking personal belongings out of rubble all day, seeing maggots crawling across rotting objects, and comprehending what is like to have one's life as you know it suddenly wiped away. Sure these are material objects, but we grieve with those who grieve, and loss is loss. I apologize later to my team leader for crying, but he says, "I'm glad you can cry, because I can't cry anymore."

Japan Mission - Day 8 (At Sendai Base Camp)

Camp Morigo Base Camp is in the middle of the woods, as it used to be a retreat center. It is beautiful. Recently, a retreat for pastors was held here so they could have a break from the stress they've been dealing with. When we arrive there, three other teams are already there - a local Japanese team, a German team, and an American team. In total there are probably 50-some people.

Today I wake up all raring to go, but it ends up raining so all work is called off for the day. I feel ridiculous – we came here to serve, and instead it turns out… we are kind of just hanging out at the base camp. And eating awesome food. And learning German words from the German team, words which I promptly forget after saying them. Our day passes spending quality time with another team here, a team from California.

I sit in on a meeting between base management staff here and visiting other base management. It is so important for CRASH to maintain its relationship with the local churches, since that is its method of connecting with the locals who are in need of help. People call the churches when they need assistance. Helping victims is no simple matter - it is extremely important to be sensitive about the fact that some disaster victims are not using to seeing foreigners in their small fishing villages, and it can be disconcerting. On the other hand, some Japanese are more likely to receive the gospel when it is presented to them by a foreigner.

6pm is debriefing and praise and worship. We sing “Shout to the Lord,” and the people here sing in three different languages – Japanese, German, and English. We all sing at the same time, but it doesn’t matter, God understands all of us. He is truly a God of the nations. Prayer time is trilingual – the person speaking is translated by two translators in a quiet murmur. It’s like being at the United Nations headquarters.

There is a little aftershock in the morning, and a pretty big aftershock in the evening during dinner. We are eating dinner when the room starts to shake. The woman next to me, who is stationed at the base for the summer, says one of the biggest ones they’ve experienced. After dinner there is a card game with Germans and Japanese, but apparently Uno transcends any language barriers =)

Japan Missions - Day 7 (Heading up to Sendai)

We got the okay to go and then it was time to get ready. The girls in the CRASH house are so generous, lending me all the things I don't have. (Hat, long sleeved shirts, long pants, sleeping bag...) They send me off with a prayer. It turns out Marisa and Jordan, two of the individual volunteers at HQ who joined our team, spent a lot of time in Sendai since their family owns a vacation home at the beach there. They are the perfect addition to our team since they both grew up in Japan and speak Japanese. Praise the Lord.

On our way up to Camp Morigo in Sendai, the epicenter of the earthquake, the rest stop looks pretty normal, but the presence of Japanese military is our first clue that things aren't like they were. They are walking around in their camouflage uniforms. We pass through Fukushima Prefecture, and a thought runs through my head - uhm... are we close to the Fukushima nuclear disaster site? ...Oh well. Already here.

It's a long drive from Tokyo to Sendai (five hours), and I'm a little sleepy when we arrive in Sendai where the tsunami hit. I bolt wide awake when I open my eyes - I can't believe the devastation around me. Cars are shriveled and flattened, upside down, houses look like their walls have all been punched out by some angry giant. The only word for this is "ravaged." In the rubble there is everything - a trombone, pages from photo albums, tea cups, a bottle of tea... I want to cry but I don't (somehow it doesn't feel real), and instead I feel nauseated.







We pull up to the former location of the Seaside Chapel in Sendai, and miraculously the church's cross was still upright after the disaster. (To be fair, it was a little crooked, but still upright.)



I wonder if we're allowed to be here, do we look like disaster tourists? Our team leader says no, people are allowed to come. Some people are looking for their belongings. We have a CRASH sticker on our rental car. Bulldozers are doing cleanup, but from where I'm watching, it looks like a snail's pace. The bulldozers, relatively few of them, swing slowly from one pile to the other, sorting individual pieces of scrap. Good grief, this is going to take forever.

Japan Missions - Day 5 (Frustration)

I am really confused and frustrated today, to be honest. I need wisdom and the ability to discern God's will. We all have different ideas of how to make God-honoring decisions, and I'm getting conflicting mandates from above. Is slow decision-making more Godly? But aren't we in a time of crisis and aren't there people who need help? What does God want me to do? What is my agenda and what is His? The day flip flops back and forth, will we go as our team up to a base camp to help with disaster cleanup or will we not? Someone on our team gets injured and can't come, but then out of nowhere two new members fall into our laps. Looks like we're go again. I actually just want some sort of closure, and I would be relieved if God closed the door. But I'm unwilling to not go because I chose to give up.

There are so many things I would love to help out with here in HQ, but the reality is that I am only here briefly, and I can't do half of them, or any of them maybe. I feel defeated and kind of useless, like a disappointment to God - but of course there is no such thing, because His grace is enough even when we fail. I've struggled with this so many times.

I am plagued by the idea that maybe instead of helping I am inadvertently causing trouble (everyone here is stressed, relatively new at their job, and no one has any idea really what tomorrow will bring), and I feel like curling up into a ball and not doing anything. Maybe I should just sit still and try not to mess up. But I know that this is precisely the thinking that is paralyzing and keeps us from doing the things that God wants us to do. As humans, we fall short, and thankfully we can place our hope in Jesus Christ and not ourselves.

We leave work with the matter still undecided, to find out tomorrow morning whether or not we will go, but I need time to prepare (I was told before the trip that I would be in HQ, so I didn't bring the appropriate gear.) I need to really trust in God. At the end of the day I am totally exhausted from making so many decisions all day about what to do and who/how to approach about each tiny step.

Japan Missions - Day 4 (Sunday service)

Today I go to Sunday service at Kurume Bible Fellowship near CRASH headquarters. The hundred-some congregants are mostly international, and the songs they sing are in English for the most part. The service focuses on the earthquake and finding answers after it, and the presider quotes 2 Corinthians 12:10, “For when I am weak, I am strong.” It is clear that three months after the earthquake, relief efforts are still in full swing and the church is doing all it can to help its congregation deal with this disaster. An African man at the church goes up to talk about the weekend trips he is organizing for those in the working world who can’t take weekdays off to volunteer. After the service I go up to talk to him, and he tries to describe the devastation he’s seen on these weekend trips, but halfway through he breaks down in tears and walks away sobbing.

Japan Missions - Day 3 (Gospel Concert)

Today we volunteer at the Hallelujah Gospel Choir concert. It is a concert with bona fide gospel singers and choirs from churches all over Japan. In the train station I stand with Thomas, another CRASH volunteer wearing our orange CRASH t-shirts as we pass out flyers for the concert. I am holding a giant version of the promo flyer and shouting in Japanese, “Free charity concert tonight! Please come!” at passersby like those people on Japanese street corners passing out pocket tissues with ads printed on them. It’s a little embarrassing, but hey, I probably won’t run into anyone I know here! It seems that a fair number of people who take our flyers are already going to the concert, which starts in 45 min from when we are passing the flyers out, but a 60 something man takes a flyer and peers at it. “Free? Really? But I’m not Christian, is that ok?” he asks in Japanese. “It’s fine!!” I respond, "Please come!"

Thomas is Caucasian, and in Japan foreigners are objects of curiosity. His foreignness draws attention and people take the flyers he distributes, but he doesn’t speak Japanese so he can’t answer their questions. I look Asian, which doesn't attract people, but I can answer their questions in Japanese. It always amazes me how God uses each of our individual attributes and talents, and by working together we can do that much more to advance His kingdom.

Church choirs have come from all over Japan, and there are performers from Fukushima (who had been forced to evacuate due to radiation) and from Sendai (whose homes were destroyed in the earthquake). One woman speaks with a quavering voice about how they had lost everything, but in the midst of it all what they remember the most is how blessed they were by the outpouring of help. Disaster victims speak about how although they were in a dark place, God has been so good to them and the concert is a celebration of His goodness.

Japan Missions - Day 2 (Settling In)

The house I am staying in is like a college dorm. CRASH has rented it for the purpose of housing volunteers, and it is home to about 10 people. I initially had very little idea of what to expect when I came here, but I have felt incredibly blessed every step of the way. I came here worried about not knowing anyone, but God has provided and I feel surrounded by wonderful friends who I will miss when I leave. They come from all over the world and all walks of life, but the love of Jesus Christ binds us all together. One of the girls seems uncannily familiar. Finally I ask if she has a sister – and lo and behold, she is the sister of Haruna, one of Michael Oh’s seminary students in Nagoya who I stayed with when I visited last summer! God provides ways to make me at home even when it is so physically far away.

As for work, I've been tasked with helping solve a problem by drafting a proposal. From what I can gather, there are a lot of individual volunteers, but they can’t send volunteers to base camps to do work unless they are in a group. Keeping volunteers at HQ doesn't always make sense because unless they are bilingual, it might be better for them to be in the field. This is a super cross functional project. I am kind of filled with a sense of urgency that might be trumping my common sense – but one main takeaway from my time at business school is that quick decisionmaking doesn’t have to be scary. In fact, trusting in God is key to turning on a dime.

However, in any organization, it’s important to meet people and demonstrate an understanding of the organization before you can be effective. My two weeks here are like a short term consulting gig. I have forgotten the concept of nemawashi, the concept that it is crucial to thoroughly socialize initiatives before proceeding. In a Japanese organization, getting buy-in from everyone is an essential step – like adding the egg when baking a cake. It is kind of the exact opposite of what I’ve been trained to do in American corporate culture – in my past experience in corporate America, you wouldn’t put a proposal together without having every last detail ironed out at the ground-level and ready to go under intense questioning. In Japan, you need to start at the top and make sure that the idea you’re proposing has approval to proceed first before you take any steps. This is a major challenge for an organization that works under urgent circumstances.

Fortunately, even though we all have different opinions, we have two common goals here: we want to help earthquake victims, and we all believe in the saving grace of Jesus Christ. Getting humbled never actually feels very good but it is definitely something I am thankful for =) Please pray that our organization would be unified in our identity as children of God, and that the love of Jesus Christ would cover over any misunderstandings or conflicts that arise from cultural differences so that we can do our best to help those in need. May we remember to focus on God as the reason why we serve!!

Japan Missions - Day 1 (Hello CRASH)

After two weeks of whirlwind travel through China, Singapore, Malaysia, and Hong Kong, coming to Japan feels a little like coming home. Except, I do not know anyone at CRASH, the organization I'm about to volunteer at for two weeks, so I am a bit apprehensive about that.



When I arrive at headquarters, I am surprised to learn that CRASH (Christian Relief Assistance Support and Hope) was only founded in 2004. It helped organize disaster relief efforts for the earthquakes in Haiti, Sichuan, and Chile. It seems that many volunteers came to CRASH headquarters right after the earthquake in March. It becomes apparent that CRASH headquarters is a rotating cast – there are long termers who are here for the long haul, but there are also a lot of people come and go from all over the world. There are Canadians, Australians, Singaporeans, Americans, Japanese of course. In the office Japanese and English are spoken equally.

I’m told that several volunteers just left recently, returning to their regular calling as missionaries in Japan. CRASH was a small operation that suddenly had to balloon overnight in March. Ramona, the head of HR, explains that things are still moving here. When she says that at first I think she is referring to the fact that working in crisis mode makes every day a new situation. Actually, she means literally physically moving. Aftershocks are still happening here about once a week, not as noticeable as the huge aftershock that hit Tokyo soon after the big one epicentered in Sendai, but still perceptible. She explains that until the end of March they were happening everyday, and up north they remain still more frequent.

Ramona is a tall, African American woman whose radiant smile exudes calm and warmth, and whose speech exudes grace and truth. She wants to hear all about how we ended up at CRASH. Ramona’s face lights up as she describes how everyone here has a unique story about how they felt called to come to Japan for God’s purposes and how we have all been brought together to meet and work side by side as part of God’s plan. “There are a lot of divine appointments taking place here!”

She explains the different ministries here, and I am struck in particular by their Emotional Care ministry. CRASH volunteers are reaching out to survivors to help them cope with the stress of the disaster. Different areas have different needs: in the south, where survivors were evacuated by the threat of radiation, the survivors are mostly frustrated and in search of answers. They want to know when (if ever) they will be able to go back home. “In reality, only God knows what the longterm outcome of the radiation will be,” says Ramona. Pastoral outreach is also important. Since the earthquake, pastors have been constantly looked to for answers by their congregants, and the pastors are getting burned out. CRASH recently took them on a pastoral retreat, a chance for them to take a break and be renewed.

This place is like a corporation with God as the head (that is actually exactly what Ramona’s whiteboarded org chart displays). Morning devotionals take place at 9am, and evening devotionals take place at 5pm. I feel like I’m at my first day of an internship as I make the rounds meeting staff in all the departments: IT, Finance/Accounting, Public Relations, Operations, etc. Headquarters are open from 9 to 6. I spend my first day registering volunteers, who hail from all around the globe including France, Malaysia, Norway, Indonesia, Taiwan to name a few. The volunteer database is huge. I know that the way we’re doing things is definitely not the most efficient way to handle things, but CRASH doesn’t have the resources to do a million dollar software implementation like a for-profit company. As the day goes on, I immediately regret not planning to come here longer than two weeks. There is so much that can be done here! My head spins with all the possibilities. But I have to remember that God has a perfect plan and that hindsight is 20/20.